Deciding to become a parent is one of the most critical decisions you can ever make in your life. Becoming a parent has far reaching consequences on your lifestyle, as it will decide who you associate with, how you spend your money, how you use your free time, and in many cases, where or how you work.
For the many who plan to become a parent, the reality is often far different than what was hoped for. Young parents often learn with shock how severely curtailed their social life becomes, without the support of domestic help and the much needed grandparents. Similarly, a parent who is new to the job can find it quite daunting to have to approach an employer for a second time off in the same week, to rush around for a child’s school matters that can’t be put off. And it goes without saying that a large chunk of the monthly budget is often reserved for the kids.
Still others end up with children without having planned for them. Your daughter dies unexpectedly, leaving you as a parent in your golden years, and this comes after your retirement. The woman you find to marry comes as a package deal. Your sibling is struggling with a drug addiction to the extent that he cannot make a safe home for your nephew. And quite commonly, boy meets girl, baby makes three… but, single parenting ensues.
And we haven’t even talked about the actual person being brought into the world. Ten fingers and ten toes? We thank God for that, but what about other disabilities or degenerative conditions? What about their mental health? What about learning disabilities? If they are there, will I discover them in time? Will my child have friends in school? How can I ensure my toddler doesn’t get molested by teachers, minders or even other students?
And can she be both kind and smart? Will he have an abrasive personality that only a mother could (has to) love? Will my children be able to navigate this world on their own? Will they get good undergraduate degrees that will lead to good jobs? Will she marry a man who will treat her right? Will he be able to be a good dad though he grew up without one? Even after God is done answering all these prayers in a way we view positively, we still want our kid to get the promotion at work! And when our kids have kids, the cycle starts right from the beginning…!
All this can leave one feeling apprehensive about becoming a parent, or if already a parent, about the upcoming days, months or years. While a parent innately wants what’s best for their child, part of the reason why it’s so important is because children are a reflection of who we are, often times they even look like us. Some would say that they are a walking advertisement of our parenting skills- talk about pressure!
But there is something that God Our Father is saying to each parent, something He wants us all to know:
1, Look to Him for all things
In all things, and not just as a parent, God wants you to look to Him. We need to remember that He is Jehovah-Jireh our provider (Genesis 22.14 KJV). Matthew 6.33 also explains that as we put God first (seek first the kingdom…), God will add all these things, (all that we need, all that we want, etc.) to our life. Overall, its a matter of priorities; we will receive the benefits that come from walking with our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.
2, He is a parent too (Matthew 7.9-11)
And He has been, longer than any of us. If we as earthly parents can give good gifts to our children, what more our Father in Heaven. He has already given us Holy Spirit, to guide us in all things. For many, He has given us resident experts (also known as grandparents! (Proverbs 17.6)) They can even advise on how to deal with stubborn personality traits within our lineage, since they went through it with you! And before He formed you, He knew you, (Jeremiah 1.5); He knows your child too. He has a plan for each and every one of us (Jeremiah 29.11) and this includes plans our children too. As we walk with Him, He will continue to reveal those plans to us. All we need to do, is entrust our kids to Him.
3, Children are a gift and a reward (Psalm 127.3)
For many mothers, as you felt that first kick, no one had to confirm it for you, you knew then and there that children are a special gift from God. But God is also saying that a child is also a reward! He wants us to enjoy spending time with the kids, not to see them as drudgery. He also calls the man with many children a blessed man! No matter the stage of life that your child is at, there is always something to enjoy and thank God for, as you continue to discover the ever dynamic present He has given you.
4, He’s with you in the fire (Dan 3.25)
Challenges will always come, that’s a part of life that none of us can escape. However, God has promised that He is with us always, even until the end of time (Matthew 28.20). That means no matter how tough it gets as parent; from learning about a child’s negative medical diagnosis, to low grades not good enough for university, or to hanging around with the wrong crowd; God has a promise for you in His Book that covers every situation. And not only that, as you go through the fire, He leads you and guides you on the correct actions to take (Psalm 23:2-4).
5, Better days are up ahead (Psalm 30.5)
This message is true for us on an individual level and also on the parental level. As a Christian, as you continue to draw closer to God, He’s promised to draw closer to you (James 4.8). And as that happens, you will continue to be transformed from glory to glory (2 Cor 3.18). That means your tomorrow will always be brighter than today because you are continually growing in your understanding of God, thereby continually growing in character, and even as you age, you will continue to bear good fruit! (Psalm 92.14).
In summary, God wants us as parents to trust Him and rely on Him as we raise our children with Him, and He wants us to enjoy the journey.