By Guest Writer
This title is taken from one of my favourite Proverbs, “Train up a Child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6 NKJ). Meditating on it one day, led me to look up the verb “train” and the World Book Dictionary indicated that to train, is to bring up, rear, teach, etc. So, a child can be trained to respect those in authority, or to love books, or sports, or whatever the trainer’s vision is for the child.
Bringing up, rearing or training denote repetition over a period of time, and as such, requires patience. The question is, do we as parents or guardians know the type of adult we want our child to become? Do we have the required equipment for the job; that is time, interest, patience love, wisdom, bouquet of disciplinary measures, and rewards, for the job at hand?
Where does one begin in carrying out this awesome task? As a Christian, I have come to realise that the ideal thing, is to start on one’s knees, like our mother Hannah, and ask the Lord for an opportunity to be His co- creators. Notice what the priest Eli, said to her after she had poured out her heart’s desire to the Lord in prayer. “Then Eli answered and said, “Go in peace, and the God of Israel grant your petition which you have asked of Him”” (1 Samuel 1:17).
Having started with the Lord we continue with Him, thanking Him during the pregnancy for the gift and requesting for revelation of the purpose the Father is sending this child to earth for. One would by the same token ask for wisdom to raise the child in a way that would prepare him or her to enter into his calling.
At Jeremiah 1:5, the Lord says, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; Before you were born I sanctified you; I ordained you a prophet to the nations.” These words speak loudly to anyone who reads or hears them that our Heavenly Father has a plan, and a purpose for each human being, and it is up to us to consult Him about our children and their future. Parents are further reassured at Psalm 127: 3 that, “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward.” There are many other scriptures that bear witness to the Lord as the source, including 1 Samuel 2: 21, “And the Lord visited Hannah, so that she conceived and bore three sons and two daughters.
Do I fall neatly into operating within the ideal? No, I regrettably do not. I am a single mother of three lovely children, a son and two daughters. I missed following the ideal route but learnt along the way that it is never too late to repent and appeal to ABBA Father whose merciful kindness is great towards us. It is never too late to seek the face of the Lord and to do that which is right for the child. At whatever point you turn to the Lord, hold on to Him and never let go because therein lies the wise council and excellent guidance of the Lord.
There are several challenges to the training process such as time and vision. Trainers take time to observe the trainee, mark their strengths and weaknesses and time to practice, build their skill and strength. In most families, both parents work, that eats into time. Young children and babies are left with nannies and, depending on age, spend their days in day-care, the world over. This situation demands that working parents depend on God all the more. Fortunately for us the Lord is interested in everything we think and do. Philippians 4:6 provides, “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.” To obey this verse calls for prayer for our children, regardless of their age.
The primary trainers are the parents or the guardian. Other members of the training team include, to a limited extent, teachers and members of the extended family. Support to the training team can come in the form of prayer from an aunt, cousin, grand parent or even a neighbour because we are called to love one another, and to be our brother’s keeper; all this lends itself to building a good society and cannot be done without the Lord.
The Word says that without a vision the people perish; children usually have dreams, depending on their age and their world, they want to be doctors, referees, truck drivers, teachers, presidents or even mummies or daddies. Whilst this talk of aspiration should be encouraged, parents can through observation and prayer, find out the purpose for which each of their children was sent to earth.
Our Lord Jesus said, “I must preach the kingdom of God to the other cities also, because for this purpose I have been sent” (Luke 4:43). As trainers we should bless our children and be an example to them. This can only be in place if we take our walk with the Lord seriously. Operating within one’s purpose is challenging but rewarding as opposed to the strife that follows us when we take our own Godless direction.
Loleme at five years of age could swear, throw a tantrum and lie. He was a terror. There was a furious debate on whether he was trained or not. That he was trained is definite, whether the training was intentional or not is another question. Children are more often than not an advertisement of the home they come from. Do parents hear themselves when they angrily address their children or each other? Do they choose their words carefully, and do they even apologise when they curse them or call them names? What has Loleme been subjected to in his home to have such a vocabulary?
Beating up the child is not going to change him. Checking the source, which may be mother, father or both, and working on self goes a long way towards helping your child turn around. It is amazing how working on self actually helps in child training. The problem most of us have is that we see faults in others and try to change them, instead of remembering to deal with the log in our eye, we busy ourselves with removing the mote from our brother’s eye. We need to cry out in repentance. ‘Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me’. What joy to correct your child even as you are being corrected.
As the Holy Spirit leads, there will be occasions where you are reminded that “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of correction will drive it far from him.” Just as training pays off and improves the skills of the trainee, training our children to be God-fearing adults, results in obedient children and peace, love and respect in the home.
Joseph obeyed his father, went to Shechem to see if all was well with his brothers and the family flock, and that catapulted him into an adventure of a lifetime. Obedience to his father led to obedience of Our Father, for we are told that ‘Potiphar and the Keeper of the prison did not look into anything that was under Joseph’s authority, because the Lord was with him and whatever he did, the Lord made it prosper.’ We know that Joseph became the second most important man in a foreign land.
Samuel obeyed his parent Eli because even when called at night, he responded, only to enter into an exciting world of hearing and obeying the Lord. Samuel ended up a renowned prophet in Israel and an author of two books in the Bible.
“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. “Joseph entered into his purpose, and so did Samuel. God is the same yesterday, today and forever; trust and obey that He who led others into their purpose and to successful lives yesterday will do the same for you and your child today.